Already got asked if we're dating
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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