this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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