porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
sex in a hospital.. check
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
