Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
