i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
