I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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