Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Dignity is for republicans.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
