but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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