Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
