Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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