Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
