dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We left an ass print on the piano.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
