Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
