yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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