Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
