Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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