I hate your face
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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