I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
