I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
