gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
