ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
