I'm eating all of the evidence.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
