My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
