Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
