Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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