So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
