We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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