if only i could text you this smell
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
