Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
