the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
