So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
