But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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