doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
there's paper in my vomit.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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