i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
