You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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