But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
