Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
