Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
