It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
