I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
