evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Is it penis luge time yet?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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