Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
