I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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