we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If that was your dad, he is hot
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
