only if we run a train.
done.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
