my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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