uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
