There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
