none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
wrigley field is MILF paradise
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
