Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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