It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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