you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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