so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
