Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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