we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
