never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
