Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
