he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
